I am tired, I am sore. I can’t do this to my core, so I shall gore all that has wouunded me because I have kept score. I am now standing at death’s door pleading that I wish to not have to be put through this anymore, so take me beneath the ground floor. Alas I am done with this internal great war. This is all I ask, and to say sorry to all I care for. My life has little meaning and I don’t mind to leave it.
The fire burns bright within this young man’s sight. He looks at you and sees that he wants to fight. Fight for your time and to see you be alright. To see you become what has been long lost from your might.
The fire, however grew to big to fast. It burned him guick as a flash. Not knowing how to put it out, he ran for cover to hide from that route. Now he sits here wondering if he had done wrong, hoping that fire is not all the way gone.
Looking at himself to see that his body is now burnt from his stupidity. He now comes back to see that the fire has died down to only embers of timidity.
He looks at these embers of unknown and wants to see them go back to a fire that grows. To be a fire of it tranquility. He however just does not know how to restart this failed history.
I try to see things only as they are, but something inside decides to go farther. To peer into the unknown and look at things with a more critical eye. This has helped me do many things in my life, however it can also be a curse. It makes up ideas about things that are not real and will convince me that it is the only thing that is real. That everyone around me hates me and wishes that I would just go away and never be heard of again.
It sits here in my head waiting for the moment to weave it’s web of lies to a point that I can’t tell what is real anymore. To the point that I feel like I can’t trust anyone, that everyone is being fake. I don’t know how to make it go away and it prevents me from being honest to those that I never want to lie to. The ones that I know care, and that I never lie to.
I have given in to my pain, I have let it eat me alive. It is now done with me, left me with a broken inside. I have been beatten and now I am bruised. I sit here now thinking what is my next move.
With each step I take my new scar will heal, all I need to do is find some good steel. Steel to protect me as I work within to find all the things that you have put in my mind.
I just need to remember to move forward and press on, because to look back only causes me more harm. To rely on people I can trust, and stay away from those that have shown to be with disgust.
Slower then he once was, this Majestic bird flew over the land that he has protected for 100’s of years. Keeping away the evil that would want to consume everything that was beautiful and balanced within this world. This bird not only watched over what he coveted, he also protected anything that asked for his assistance. This bird like no other had a heart of pure gold, he is uncrustable and unwavering in his convictions.
He is rarely seen up close by those he helps, but the story goes that he stands at 3ft tall with a wing span of 6ft. He has magnificent crimson and gold feathers that as he flys gives off a flame of brilliant scorching air that dissipates into a shower of embers.
This day however was not like that, he flew over this land that he protects and there was no flame chasing his crimson body. The only thing happening was every few seconds a feather would fall from his coat and disintegrate before it touched the ground. The creatures that knew of him saw this with great sorrow because the knew something was wrong. If they could see this then so could the evil that wanted this land for their own.
Knowing something was wrong, this evil with malice in it’s eyes, lunged at the opportunity to strike. Darkness like a void started to devour all light. Little by little that land became infected with a vile twilight. Not have the strength to do much the Phoenix tried with all it’s might to subdue this corruption, but the Maleficent darkness was ready and strong.
As the Phoenix came close to the evil, a dark wave of plague washed over his body, already being weak he fell to the ground. Struggling to pick himself up, the evil came close and with a black flame that feeled the air with a Stinging chill that turn all around it into a frozen desolate land. The evil thrust it into Phoenix and he falls limp to the ground as the black fire consumes his body until the only thing left is a pile of Ash.
The darkness has won, Triumph in his eyes the world is over taken with darkness. As he Revels in his victory the ash behind him begins to spark again and with a conflagration like no other, the ash pile explodes bringing out a young reinvigorated Phoenix that with one flap of his wing wipes out the evil once and for all. Know knowing the evil wouldn’t be a problem again, the Phoenix decided with this new life to be with those people that he helped so many time and become one with then rather then be one above them.
I have lost my way, I don’t seem to know where it is I’m going anymore. When I started this Journey, I had such strong convictions and I knew what it was I wanted to do with my life. All I do now is question. Who is it that I want to be? What is it that I want to do? How should I continue?
Everything is a question and there is no easy answer anymore. I want to make decisions that I know will make me happy and fulfill my self- actualization. I, however stand here Frozen solid by my fear of what if I make the wrong move.
What if I go down the wrong path and find myself once again lost and with no one to hear my plea for help. Down the road when I may not have the people that I can rely on right now. Why do I plague my mind with such thoughts that I still have time to make and shape the way I please.
I shouldn’t worry about what tommorow may bring, Because then I will miss out on today and what Beauty and happiness may come along with it. True, I may be lost right now, but I know that everything will work out for the best. All I have to do in stay in the present and keep working on things that I can control at this moment. I know that if I need help their are people who have my back and become my voice of reason that I have seemed to have misplaced.
My heart Weeps Because I see that I can’t have you by my side. I have to now keep my guard up to keep from showing you what I feel on the inside.
Even if you were to say to me that it’s ok , I know that I must stay away. It is not the right time, I can’t even begin to explain why. It hurts me so that I must watch you walk on by.